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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?